i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
