office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
