thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
