That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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