A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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