I look better un-naked...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
