Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
pray to the hookup gods
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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