i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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