I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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