where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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