is your mom at the bar?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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