Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
