im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
