I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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