I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
