got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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