1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize