if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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