One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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