Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
