If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize