Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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