Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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