I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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