none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
