OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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