Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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