she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just want nice things and good sex
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
