we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
