I'm going to jail i love you
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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