I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
