she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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