I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Mom said you looked used
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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