just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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