The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
