just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i think my cat just said my name.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
