everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
