R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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