i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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