I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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