sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
third nipple confirmed
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
