Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i dont even know how to be here
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
