im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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