Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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