well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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