She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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