Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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