My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
