3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize