what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
