Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize