I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
