i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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