ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
