glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
