I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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