Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
