Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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