Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
